i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
