thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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