One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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