its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
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