Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Randomize
