I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
