"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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