i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Randomize
