is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
