i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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