Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
