what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
