we have pet lesbian snakes
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Randomize
