Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
