take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Randomize
