i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
We talked him into tasing himself.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Randomize
