I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
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