I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
COCAINE IS GR8
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
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