Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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