So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
