I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize