It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
