I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize