Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
