I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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