Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
