you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Dick very happy bro
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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