people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Randomize
