I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
