im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
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