she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
