you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
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