well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
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