I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
