where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
