Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
