What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Randomize
