the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
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