i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Sex in the backyard? Check.
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