I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
