I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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