yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
