1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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