We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
