I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
