can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Randomize
