gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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