Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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