Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
if only i could text you this smell
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
