some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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