dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Randomize
