I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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