So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
